No Turning Back
by IceCreamAndPizza
Summary: How is it that something that's supposed to make you feel whole could make you hate yourself and destroy something you had worked at for years?" Ash has really screwed up and now he must suffer the consequences and unanswered questions.


Ages

ASH AND MISTY: 22

BROCK: 24

I stared at my best friend of 12 years as she slept peacefully, her turquoise covers pulled close to her body in order to hide the rest of her. She wasn't my best friend anymore, though. I wasn't sure what she was to me now. As I looked at her, though, I couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked with her mouth slightly ajar and her red hair sprawled around her face. Before I could stop myself, I brushed the loose hair behind her ear, exposing the rest of her face. What was I doing? I wasn't supposed to be here. Before I did anything else, I stood up and pulled on my t-shirt before walking out of the room.

Despite the events of the previous night, the gym was pretty clean with only a few remnants of the party visible. Grabbing a small garbage bag from a cabinet, I began cleaning up a bit. As I passed through the family room, picking up empty cups and plates, I paused before a bottle sitting on the coffee table. It sat there taunting me with it's few remaining sips, reminding me of how it had ended up that way. As I stared at the bottle some more, my anger started to bubble to the surface, inhibiting me from thinking properly just like the bottle had. Angry at the empty bottle, and myself I picked it up and threw it across the room, my increased strength fueled by my anger. I watched as the bottle flew across the room and shattered into many pieces as it made contact with the opposite wall. Maybe if I destroyed the bottle, I could take away everything that had happened. I just didn't understand how something that was supposed to be great and make you feel whole could make you hate yourself and destroy something you had worked at for years. And it had only taken one night.

"_Ash!" Misty yelled, throwing her arms around her long-time friend. "I'm so glad you're here! I've missed you so much." _

"_Me, too," Ash told her, returning the hug. _

"_Come in! Come in!" she ushered him, closing the door behind him. "Everyone's in the family room and the food and drinks are in the kitchen." _

"_Okay. Thanks," he replied walking into the family room where he found some of his friends. _

"_Hey Ash!" Brock greeted him. "Long time no see." _

"_Same to you. Things good at home?" _

"_Yep. Been teaching my brother how to battle." _

"_That's good," Ash told him, but he was a bit distracted by the various people he hadn't seen in ages. _

_He had still been traveling around and had finally come home to visit for a few weeks. Demanding that he come visit her, Misty offered to throw him a welcome home party at the gym with all his friends he had met over the years. That way everyone can see you at once, she had told him. They had agreed to have the party towards the end of the visit so everyone would have some time to arrive. And this is where he found himself two days before he would set out again to chase his dream. _

_The party had been very nice, allowing him to get to chat and catch up with all his friends. Even Pikachu had fun, playing with the various Pokemon he himself hadn't seen in a while. As the night began to die down, he said goodbye to some of his friends until him, Brock and Misty were the only three left. It was just like old times with the three of them together again. He had missed them and would give anything to have them back with him again, but he knew they had their own hopes and dreams. He had held them back long enough. _

_At the suggestion of Brock to celebrate how far they had come, Misty brought out a bottle of alcohol and three shot glasses. At first they had toasted to the friendship they had and the memories they had shared together. Next they forced each other to take a drink for one thing-agreed on by the other two-that they had forced the others to suffer through. Brock had to take a drink for all the times he hit on Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny while Misty had to drink for her all the times she had complained about her bike. Finally, Brock and Misty demanded Ash take a drink for the all the times he had gotten them lost in the woods. _

"_You and Misty have to take a drink for all the times I suffered through your stupid arguing," Brock told them, continuing on with his earlier suggestion. "Right Pikachu?" _

"_Pika!" the pokemon replied, all for it. _

"_Fine," they both sighed before refilling their glasses and taking a drink. _

"_All right guys. This was fun, but I need to head home. You two going to be okay?" Brock asked them before standing up to leave. _

"_Yeah. We'll be fine," Misty assured him as she stood up to give him a hug goodbye. After Brock left, Ash, Misty and Pikachu were the only ones left._

"_So shall we continue where we left off?" Misty asked Ash. _

"_Shouldn't we stop? I mean it is getting kind of late." _

"_We're not going anywhere, Ash," she told him. "A few more won't hurt." _

_Unable to resist his friend, Ash gave in and refilled his glass. "What's this one for?" he asked. _

"_For stealing my bike," she told him, jumping to an obvious answer. _

"_Fine. That one's for beating me with your mallet," he told her, pointing to her empty glass. _

"_Fine." _

_Before they knew it, a few more had turned into a lot more. As she spoke, Misty's words slurred and her movements became more dramatic. Ash on the other hand, started to feel a confidence like none other. He felt like he could do anything if he wanted and never be stopped. Having enough power to stop, Misty set down her glass and announced she was heading to bed. As she stood up, though, she felt a sudden wave of dizziness, falling clumsily into Ash. _

"_I'm sorry," she apologized. _

"_It's fine," he told her, not really sure what happened. "Don't worry about it." _

"_Thanks. You're the best, Ash." Giving up on going to bed, she sat down next to him and turned to face him, her face dangerously close to his. _

_As he turned to look at her, he could feel her breath hit his mouth as she breathed in and out. Her kind words and the proximity of their faces was all it took for Ash's sudden increase in confidence to take over. Without thinking twice, he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her closer and kissed her. He didn't know if it was because of the alcohol or the kiss, but he could feel the adrenaline coursing through him, his mind taking a backseat to his emotions. _

_He would have stopped if she had told him to, but the thing was, she didn't. He felt her move his hands from her shoulders to her waist before she wrapped her own arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Just like he had imagined, her lips were soft and he could feel patches of heat wherever her skin brushed his. Shifting his weight as he leaned forward, he pushed her back until the couch broke her fall. With his hands on either side of her, he poured all his emotion into kissing her as he slowly moved to her chin and down her neck to her exposed collarbone. The sweet smell of her perfume mixed with the smell of her that reached his senses was more intoxicating to him than the alcohol had been. It was a like a drug that he felt he would never get enough of. He could hear her sigh in what he hoped was happiness as she pulled him even closer, her hands inching their way under his shirt, sending waves of heat rushing through his body._

"_Ash," he heard her whisper, halting his high-speed train of emotions. _

"_Hmm?" he replied, barely acknowledging her voice as he was completely lost in the moment. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fight the emotions he was feeling. He had never been good with words anyway._

"_Your hat," she giggled. He sighed in relief, knowing that it was just his hat that had stopped her. He knew that she might have said stop, and he would respect her wishes if she did. But his heart secretly prayed that she wouldn't say stop. He had dreamed about this, and didn't want it to end now. _

"_Sorry," he apologized, turning his hat to face backward before he resumed kissing her. _

_Without saying anything, he felt her tug at his jeans, implying that she wanted more. For the first time he looked her in the eyes, questioning her actions. He had just wanted to kiss her and be closer to her, not to go any further. Before he even considered giving in to her, he wanted to make sure this what she wanted. _

"_Please," she whispered, her cerulean eyes burning bright. _

"_Misty, I don't know," he told her. "We've had a bit to drink." He was torn between the hormones and emotions controlling him and the small bit of him that could at least think about the potential consequences. _

"_I'm fine," she told him. And because his emotions were in control and he was as drunk as she was, he believed her. _

_Carrying her gingerly to her room, he set her down on the bed before she pulled him down with her. This time, though, when she pulled on his jeans, he let her without question. That was the last thing he remembered before any remaining bit of responsibility flew out the door and he just went with what he was feeling. _

As I kneeled in front of the broken pieces of glass, I carefully picked each one up, fearful that I would break one even further. I hoped that the bottle smashing against the wall hadn't woken Misty up because I didn't want her to see me like this. I had ruined everything between us. Why had I listened to her? I knew she was drunk and didn't know what she was saying. I could have said no like I knew I should have, but I didn't. It was her stupid eyes that had led him to it. It was the stupid lust I had felt toward her when I was caught up in the moment. I was just stupid and went along with my emotions, something that I knew from past experiences always got me into trouble. I could just picture her yelling at me, her questions of if I would ever think first before rushing into something. I doubt I would ever change, but I wished I had, even just for last night.

I hadn't seen her all morning and that scared me a lot more. What if she didn't remember what happened? What if she got mad and told me she hated me? I wouldn't have time to try and patch up our friendship. I had to head back home today and then back on my journey tomorrow. I would just be leaving with unanswered questions hanging in the air. I needed to talk to someone about it, but the only person I could talk to was the one person I was scared to talk to. I needed to know where we stood now, having crossed the boundary between friendship and something more.

As I heard her footsteps echo through the halls, I quickly snatched up the remaining pieces and prepared myself to face her. I knew I loved her and always had, but as she got closer, I slowly begin to realize that no matter how many bottles I broke or how much I prayed I could, I couldn't' take it all back. And I knew as she entered the room and her face paled when she saw me, that there was no turning back.


End file.
